A Word

A 4-year old said "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Makes me think of one of The 4 Agreements (by Don Miguel Ruiz): “Be impeccable with your word”.

Much food for thought - ‘nough said!

Walking the Talk

Walking the Talk

Walking the Talk has been a much-used phrase in recent years, and probably is more applicable than ever now! When we – or those we look up to – do not ‘walk the talk’, incongruence and inconsistencies become rampant very quickly, which makes for a lot of insecurities to say the least!

Unfortunately, we cannot control others and whether they live up to our expectations. But we can be in charge of ourselves, and the way we “walk our talk”.

To have such ‘management’, we must of course become aware of what our ‘talk’ is; our beliefs about how to live life, our values and expectations, the behaviors and actions we expect of others and ourselves. Interestingly, many are unclear about this, not having fully addressed these thoughts and beliefs within the self –only being adversely triggered whenever they are unmet in the outside world!!

Nonetheless, it is surely essential to be completely conscious of exactly what we want to see before we can manifest it. Although this may seem obvious, I personally find it very valuable to keep the door open on the issue of ‘talk’ and whether we are really ‘walking’ it; never taking that for granted; always questioning and checking ourselves; exploring and self-regulating any stress or emotions that get in the way or are destructive; always growing our self-awareness, and, in the words of Walt Whitman, rising to go beyond.

Then, and only then can we become objective enough to address whether we are, or even can be capable of, ‘walking the walk”!!!!

A Timeless Issue

I came across the quote below in an old book. I have found it to push the boundaries of some of our perceptions today and even activate some uncomfortable emotions, but the teaching is relevant and timeless – and it is one we can choose to use as a catalyst for growth; an inspiration; a validation of intentions; or merely to examine our emotional response and decide whether it serves us …. or not.

A certain stage of the human consciousness can be observed when, to the question as to what is needed, the following answer is given: ‘Money’. So long as this mercenary limitation is not outlived, no spiritual help can be provided. One’s consciousness must be advanced towards more significant values, then help will come even materially. The law of the highest values is affirmed in the whole of existence. Thus, our own consciousness determines the well-being that is deserved.
From HEART – Signs of Agni Yoga © 1932

Emotions and Creativity

I am drawn to award shows on TV, most particularly Broadway’s Tony Awards because this particular event honors live theatre – and live theatre was central to my life for more than thirty years. No doubt those of you who share my interest, watched this year’s Tony Awards on TV last Sunday. As usual in awards shows, there was much emotion – mainly excitement, pride, gratitude, some overwhelm, and lots of delight. I am sure there were also disappointments, sadness and anger too, but we didn’t get to see much of that…….

Emotions run rampant in the theatre world, as in all environments where creativity abounds. It is almost a given with theatre people; writers; actors; singers; dancers; musicians; composers; choreographers; artists; directors; all are expected to be ‘emotional’, that is to have and to show lots of emotions freely, unabashedly. This can be a good thing, it can be entertaining, and it can even be inspiring. But all too often it can be destructive. Few, if any, demands are placed on creative or performing artists to manage their emotions, with the resulting emotional chaos we are so often witness to in the world of celebrity.

I like to challenge the assumption that one needs to be emotionally unmanaged to be creative. This assumption is, I believe, a myth! On the contrary; the ability to understand emotions and emotional information, to appreciate how emotions merge, mingle and move through relationship transitions, to grasp emotional meanings and to be able to identify, assess, process and modulate them within, is surely central to some of our greatest and inspired works of art!

I'll be musing more on this subject!

A Poem for a Smile

When I worked as a school counselor, I liked to share poems and stories with the children, that would express feelings they might be experiencing but having difficulty expressing. One poem was particularly popular and came to mind again when a former (now grown up) client asked about it! We agreed that it very aptly expresses something we can all identify with!
Enjoy!
Betsy At The Party

‘When I was at the party,’
Said Betsy aged just four,
‘A little girl fell off her chair
Right down upon the floor;
And all the other little girls
Began to laugh, but me -
I didn’t laugh a single bit,’
Said Betsy seriously.

‘Why not?’ her mother asked her,
Full of delight to find
That Betsy - bless her little heart! -
Had been so sweetly kind.
‘Why didn’t you laugh, my darling?
Or don’t you like to tell?’
‘I didn’t laugh,’ said Betsy,
‘ ‘Cause it was me that fell!’

Anonymous

Six Billion Paths to Peace initiative

Friday, April 17, 2009

Path to Peace
Recently added photos and information to the Shinnyo-en Foundation website as a part of the Six Billion Paths to Peace initiative, Jennifer Day, author of “Being What You Want To See”, and Maura Wolf, Shinnyo-en trainer, co-led a workshop entitled “Being What you Want, Teaching Who You are – A School Reform Strategy”. This standing room only workshop was a part of the 20th Annual National Service-Learning Conference held in Nashville, Tennessee... Check out the shinnyo-en website at http://www.sef.org

Pulling in the Same Direction.

It could be said that we all have multiple personalities – certainly most of us have several ‘I’ s that frequently disagree. Let me explain.


I have an intention to meet my daughter for coffee at noon, that is I, Jennifer, has that intention. However, I, Jenny, get busy with emails and loose track of time (a voice in the back of my head says “just one more – you’ve got time!”). Then there’s I, Jen, who feels taking a break to go to the café is something I only deserve to do when I’ve finished certain tasks I had set myself the day before………………


Long story short, I arrive at the café at about ten past noon. ‘No big deal’ you might say. But I, Jennifer, believe in punctuality as a show of respect for the other person, and although I, (Jenny), tell myself to lighten up and I (Jen) justify internally, being late by arguing work is a priority for how else can one pay for the coffee, - I am annoyed with myself – I do not feel good internally, because I am not in agreement within myself; I am not concurring; I am incongruent.


This incongruence takes a lot of energy and attention, energy and attention that is taken away from relationships, work, and life in general. In fact, this incongruence can be so distracting it can even become destructive.


If we are to improve ourselves and our world, we need to give all our attention, intentionally, deliberately, to becoming congruent within ourselves. Only when all our ‘I’s or internal voices agree with each other and have the same intention, can we fully achieve our goals, because only then are we fully focused – a little like all the horses pulling a wagon galloping in the same direction! Only when we become internally congruent, can we create the behaviour - and life – and world that we really want and feel good about. Mastering our emotions is foundational in this process.

A Story

“Dear God,” he prayed, “let me win the lottery this week. Times are bad. We are all starving and the children need new shoes. Please help. Amen.”


“Dear God,” he prayed again, “we didn’t win the lottery, as you know. I can’t believe that you’d let me down. Things have got a lot worse. We haven’t eaten now for days, the baby is really ill and we’ll lose the house if I don’t get some money soon. Please help. Amen.”


“Dear God,” he prayed once more, “I don’t understand at all. Two weeks have passed since I first prayed to you, and still we haven’t won. We are faint with hunger and exhausted from worry. The bailiffs will be here tomorrow if I can’t pay the rent and then what will become of us? I’m begging you now – I’ll never ask for anything again! Please help, amen.”


“Meet me half way,” came the reply. “Buy a ticket.”


(A Traditional Jewish story)

Brain Freeze ?

Stress is, as most of us know, an emotional state that is the result of how we perceive a situation in our minds. Stress is not – as many would have us believe – a result of the situation itself.

Stress is the result of our perception and is the body’s reaction to fears, assumptions and more often than not, projections about our future – ‘what if?’s that we conjure up in our minds. The more vivid these images are, the greater the stress will be.

The greater the stress, the more insecure we become about our ability to handle it and the less we believe in our own coping abilities. The result is that the brain shuts down and stress hormones circulate throughout the body.

The more inhibited our brain is, the less we can think clearly and the more likely we are to perceive a situation or the actions of another as stressful. It becomes a never-ending cycle!


To combat this - aside from taking deep breaths -, it may help to remember that we do not have a crystal ball and actually cannot predict the future – much as we would like to! Although it is possible that some not-so-nice things may happen, it is equally possible that great things can happen too. We really don’t know…. And it’s actually okay to not know, because, ironically, the fact that we do not know is one thing we do know for sure Now breathe………..


Serendipity is one of my favourite concepts to focus on, and a focus on serendipity – the possibility of something wonderful happening – will make it much more likely to happen!


When next you feel stress and worry about the future overtaking you, STOP, take 3 slow deep breaths, and imagine your mind opening up to 360 degrees of possibilities. Imagine the most outrageous positive possibility, and allow yourself to enjoy the image for just a moment!


This will switch your brain on, and make you more likely to come up with creative ideas towards a positive potential!

A Poem

POEM



A poem that inspires the contemplation of values …….


I would be true, for there are those who trust me,

I would be pure, for there are those who care,

I would be strong, for there is much to suffer,

I would be brave, for there is much to dare,

I would be a friend of all, the foe, the friendless,

I would be forgiving and forget the gift,

I would be humble, for I know my weakness,

I would look up, and laugh, and love, and live!

Anonymous