“I don’t have time to read any books on emotions,“ a neighbor said to me. “I barely get time to read my magazines and lord knows I need that information just to look half decent!” She was referring of course to beauty or fashion magazines – and it turned out she believed that her looks had nothing to do with her emotions.
I beg, as they say, to differ. In fact I insist: Beauty comes from within. Literally. Feeling good makes you look good – and younger! Conversely, stress makes you look older and less attractive! You, reader, are probably aware of this, but do you consider it as you go about your day?
How do you handle your stress – in the moment?
Try this: Think back to the last time you had an unpleasant feeling or felt a little stress. How did it feel? Allow yourself to re-experience it, just for a few seconds……..
Now look in the mirror. What do you look like?
I know that when I do this, it’s not a pretty sight – so let me suggest you give it up, right now!
Instead, take a deep breath in and as you exhale, let the feeling go – blow it out if necessary! Repeat it, if you like.
Now smile, just physically make the grimace of a smile. Now, try to FEEL the smile, think of something that makes you want to smile, so you really mean it. Enjoy the smile.
Now just relax. Feel better? Look better?
I rest my case.
Next time you feel annoyed or stressed, try this again. You may find you not only look better, but your thinking is clearer too!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
A great new book I recently came across is Drive by Daniel Pink. He writes about motivation and the ‘carrot-stick’ approach that no longer works for most of us. Why? Because any task that requires initiative, creative thinking or problem solving abilities, requires a different kind of motivation. I believe it’s what we might refer to as the ‘feel-good’ kind of motivation. The part of the brain that is involved in the creative process or in exploring resources and problem solving requires a feeling of safety and being connected to our innate desire to grow, transcend, do better, and be of purpose… and when positive emotions are not engaged, this really doesn’t happen – at least not to the degree to which it is capable! I love it when books come out that (inadvertently or not :-) support the significance of emotional intelligence and the ‘feel-good’ factor.