"Something is rotten in the State of Denmark'" so says Shakespeare's fictional character Marcellus in 'Hamlet', and for some reason this sentence keeps popping into my head. It seems eerily relevant to the current state of (almost) our entire world. The way most people feel on a regular basis - whether while on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or otherwise taking in the latest news bulletin - is unsafe, untrusting, and uneasy. It has gone beyond the remit of this blog, beyond issues of emotional
intelligence and mastery (or lack thereof). However, we at Applied Emotional
Mastery™ feel compelled to address it anyway, because it IS about emotions and
the inescapable ramifications emotionally, of governance, of all leadership.
But it is also beyond any one person or ideology. It is the result of a system of leadership, a code of
governance that has created a world where hyper-individualism trumps any form
of collectivism (no pun intended!), where outward-focused consumerism has
become a value, where social isolation and alienation has taken the place of
trust and community. This world we have created today is the result of a failed
and imbalanced leadership approach, a governing system that, although it plays
out in many different political forms around the world, is essentially one
system; a system that has been in place for thousands of years, (so you can’t
say it hasn’t been given a fair chance!) In fact for more than five thousand
years we have prioritized and lauded a masculine paradigm of leadership, by
means of patriarchy and other assorted devices of domination. This system has
valued - and still values - ‘power over’ versus ‘power with’, physical strength
over emotional resilience, thoughts over feelings, logic over intuition,
materialism over relationships, measurable achievement over all-inclusive
fulfilment, individual success over collective development.
Enough already! It is time to change, time to accept we need
a different leadership approach. I mean really
different – NOT just another patriarchy with a different spin. We need to
step outside the limited box of
possibilities created by patriarchal thinking and open up to a wider view, one
that gives equal value to both male and female qualities.
To us working in the field of human emotion and development,
the obvious first step is to create more balance in our approach to leadership.
This does not mean more women in leadership positions or looking at all the
other popular feminist actions steps (valuable though these all are), but to
look at the inherent value we place
on the feminine and the perceived feminine qualities. It does mean to reclaim
and restore the formerly undervalued and suppressed leadership qualities; the
power of emotional understanding, empathic thinking, affirmative connection,
collaborative communication, and appreciation of cycles – all of which are rooted
in an increased value of feminine wisdom, and of which we are all capable, men
as well as women.
Historically, these so called ‘feminine’ attributes have
been undervalued and perceived as less important than their ‘masculine’ counterparts,
especially in leadership, which we believe is at the core of solving our global
challenges. For these qualities are those that build human resilience, create
mutual care, nourishment and support, and provide collective strength and
buoyancy in the face of any and all adversity. They are traits we need to not
only recognize as vital, but consciously cultivate as equally important as the
qualities that give us assertiveness, ambition, competitiveness and absolutism
that we currently give precedence to.
Having worked for more than a year now exploring and identifying
these feminine qualities and principles, we have coined them collectively as
the She Code (a ‘code’ being defined as a
system of principles that represent or determine a specific behaviour or
approach.)
Currently we are working on offering an ontology for a practical
way of leading and being in the world that fully values our yin, archetypically
feminine qualities in all of us – men and women – equally with our more
masculine qualities, our yang. We want to unearth what has been dormant and
undervalued, to illuminate how we are innately designed to have more coherence
and balance in our lives, more emotional literacy, more empathic thinking, more
listening and collaboration, and more acceptance of difference, -both individually
and collectively-. None of this is either ‘political’ or divisive but rather,
giving equal value to all of our
innate positive qualities will show how we can
live with greater harmony and humanity.
It’s a big ask, and we don’t begin to pretend to have all
the answers, but we can possibly contribute to the conversation with more
practical applications than are currently on offer, and through the lens of
emotional management that is far too infrequently addressed, (or even admitted,
far less considered!)
So watch this space as we explore the SHE CODE, and how, if we
can employ ALL our inherent capacities, masculine and feminine, with equal value it will be for the benefit
of all.
And if you feel aligned with this
and have a comment, question, or would like to contribute to the conversation,
please get in touch!
Jennifer Day and Melissa Rivera http://www.appliedemotionalmastery.com/contact
