Give or Take

Inexplicably linked to gratitude (and Thanksgiving) is, in my humble opinion, generosity.
I recall a story I once heard about generosity, illustrating how difficult it is to actually put qualities such as gratitude and generosity into daily practice. The story was about a priest who was traveling around the farming community he served, visiting his parishioners. One group of farmers was particularly engaging and he spent some time preaching about the virtues of generosity, charity and kindness. Finally he asked them all to imagine they had one more car than they needed. Then he asked them what they would do with the extra car. One of the farmers immediately responded enthusiastically; “I would give it away to someone who needed it.”
“Now that’s what I call charitable!” the priest exclaimed. “And what if you had two houses? What would you do with the second one?”
“I would give the second one to homeless people,” replied the farmer at once eager to please.
“The spirit of generosity indeed!” the priest smiled with approval. “What if you had two chickens, “ he continued, “what would you do?”
The farmer became suddenly serious. “Why I would keep them both!” he retorted.
“Now why would you, who have been so kind-hearted with great things, all of a sudden cease being generous when it comes to a couple of small chickens?” asked the priest
The farmer replied, “Because I have two chickens!”

Such a great illustration of how we humans can find it so difficult to live according to what we preach – to ‘walk our talk ‘as they say – especially when old emotional fear patterns and self-centredness take over! The thing is when they do, we actually feel uncomfortable, unhappy, because on some level we know we are not living in alignment with our values.

The very good news is that science is repeatedly showing us it’s all in the wiring of the brain – AND we can, by being mindful, actually take charge and change the wiring – be what we really want to be! In the case of the farmer (if he indeed was really as generous as he professed to be) give away that second chicken trusting that ‘what goes around comes around’.

To learn more about coaching and resources that can help ‘change the wiring’, check out www.TheBeingEffect.com

One Thing We Take For Granted

Sitting in a very crowded London tube train the other day, I couldn’t help but overhear two young men – college students – conversing next to me. One of them was describing the gift he was creating for his parents’ anniversary, an elaborately mounted photo collage he clearly found difficult to complete. It sounded like a time consuming project.  “It’s an upgrade of the gift I made for their wedding, I think it will be good enough, don’t you?” he said to his friend. I was curious about the back-story but his obvious care and thoughtfulness over-rode my curiosity. He struck me as being somewhat un-typical of that age group, or of how we normally perceive that age group, and the humbling thought occurred to me that we possibly underestimate young people because of their youth. I immediately felt a surge of gratitude for my own daughter at that age and the constant care and thoughtfulness she exhibited, and still does. I wonder how many of us have someone in our lives who is especially caring, a person who goes that extra mile, but who we don't necessarily remember to acknowledge for it?  This young man on the tube reminded me not only how important it is to recognize young people, but how important it is to shift our focus away from anyone that bothers or upsets us towards those that care, and that show us they care. Won't you join me in appreciating kind, considerate people, of all ages, a little more?

A Favourite Story

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat, with just one fisherman, docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. The Mexican replied that it only took him a little while. The American then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish?
    The Mexican said that he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked; “What do you do with the rest of your time?”
    The fisherman replied; “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”
    The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
    The Mexican fisherman asked, “But how long will this take?”
    To which the American replied, “15 to 20 years.”
    “But, what then?” the fisherman asked.
    The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”
    “Millions…..and then what?” inquired the fisherman.
    The American said, “Then you would retire and move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.”