Cotton-Wool or Free-Range Kids?

For some time now I have strongly suspected that we have become far more attached to our technology than is good for us. (Contrary to what this sentence may indicate, I am NOT about to embark on technology-bashing!) Recently it seems every newspaper and periodical I pick up has an article that in some way points to my suspicion as survey after survey shows that we are increasingly living technology-filled and virtually nature-free lives! One article posed the question” Cotton-wool kids – or free-range children?” I wonder, do we consciously make that choice, or is it just happening as we get wrapped up in texting, tweeting, emailing and friending, while we try to navigate the increasing demands on our time as well as that of our children – scheduling all their activities, not to mention ensuring their protection – and ending our days by collapsing in front of the TV? 
Apparently less than ten percent of children today regularly play in the free outdoors, (this compares to fifty percent of their parents when they were children). One study shows that kids can more easily identify a fictional character from TV than a wild animal. We all know that obesity levels have tripled in the last decade, and children’s mental  health is on a sharp decline.
Technology in and of itself is, of course, not the culprit; it’s the way we employ it - our indiscriminate use of it - that’s the problem. Social media was never meant to disconnect us from nature. It was, and is, merely meant to be a tool that, if anything should give us more freedom!
So while I’m on a roll speculating, I hypothesize that if each time we go to use that tool, to for example text, we ask ourselves is this really necessary, we may find it is not! If each time we click the facebook tab to check the latest posts, we ask ourselves do I need to do this now; or when we go to check our emails for the fifth time today we question the necessity, we may discover the answer is no. And when we reach for the cell phone for whatever reason we instead stop and look around us and take a moment to connect with our environment, directly through our senses, maybe we would glance upon a leaf or a tree and be reminded of nature, wherever we find it. Practising such self-questioning, we may eventually discover we have a little more time to get out into nature and to take our children out into nature, not for the purpose of DOING anything specific, but for no other reason than to just enJOY it – freely………. free-range!

Parents Worry!

Most people worry sometimes. ALL of us who are parents, worry - a lot! It is part and parcel of being a parent – to worry about our children. When they start a new school, we worry. When they begin going off to parties on their own, we worry. When they make choices we do not approve of or understand, we worry. When they grow up and move away to run their own lives we continue to worry, although it feels a little different, because we no longer have any control, not even an illusion of control! :-)

Worry is what I call a ‘what if?’ emotion. Like anxiety, fear, concern, eagerness, hope, and expectancy, it anticipates and attempts to predict the future. The imagination, prone to run rampant, joins in and, if unchecked, feeds the emotion as various scenarios are envisioned. The best thing to do when you catch yourself in the throes of this experience is to say to yourself “Time Out!” Check where in your body you are holding the tension that has been created – and release it! I for one, tend to hold worry in my jaw and neck, so a good old roll of the head and shoulders, and an opening and closing of my mouth helps to loosen things up! With the tension released I take three deep breaths, focusing all my attention in the area of my heart, feeling my torso expand and contract around the heart as I breathe. I suggest you try it – it feels exceedingly pleasant!

When you really feel fully present & centered in your body, breathing calmly, visualize your child perfectly safe, happy, and learning what (s)he is meant to learn. Know that your child has his or her own journey to make through life and trust that you have given them the necessary values and skills to navigate through it – and whatever that looks like, don’t judge it but rather know that it is perfect.

Quite frankly, much as we do it, worry does nothing to help with anything. Try instead to “send” your child all your love and just be there, living your own life as best you can, but always in a loving state for them. That is the best support you can possibly give your child – and guess what? I’m telling myself this now, as my (very) adult daughter travels across another continent. As a matter of fact, I find myself using this process on quite a regular basis!