Sunday, March 16, 2014

EXPECTATIONS ANYONE?

Have you ever had a friend misinterpret something someone quoted you as saying or respond to a miscommunication, by snubbing you? Instead of speaking to you about it, such a person will stop speaking to you altogether, using their silence as a weapon or perceived punishment for - - -  you know not what! Rightly referred to as ‘passive aggression’, this is an experience most people I know have had to struggle with at some time in their lives. For me, the temptation to feel disappointed will be strong, even though I know it is only the result of unmet expectations – and my unrealistic expectations at that! If I am really honest with myself, I probably know the person well enough to know that this is their modus operandi – and not something I can control. If I let my frustration (with myself) and disappointment linger, it will only lead to resentment, which certainly won’t serve me at all! Letting it go is my best option, and finding the gift (yes, the gift! For instance: what can I appreciate about the new ‘non-relationship’? Or how can I shift into compassion for this person?) is for me, the easiest way to let go. A lifesaver, you might say!
I learned this lesson well, from a teacher in Hawaii many moons ago, who told me he was never disappointed. “Never disappointed?”! I asked incredulously. “Never disappointed because I never have any expectations,” he said. 
Very difficult to do – but something to strive for nonetheless! As several of my clients seem to have this issue theses days, and I myself have had it too, I feel inspired to share some more Hawaiian wisdom - the complete seven principles of Huna (the Hawaiian life philosophies), that have meant a great deal to me since I learned them from the same wise teacher.
May they inspire you too!


The world is what you think it is 
There are no limits 
Energy goes where attention flows 
Now is the moment of power
To love is to be happy with 
All power comes from within 
Effectiveness is the measure of truth

(With thanks to Serge Kahili King)

 

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